Love and Life

11 Ways to Stop Feeling Miserable About Your Love Life

01
Be honest with yourself.
What exactly do you want? Do you want to be single and take time for yourself, play the field, or meet the one. It’s bad enough to lie to others, but don’t lie to yourself. If you are looking for love declare it. Maintain your self-trust and self-integrity. Keep it real so that you can then make choices that truly support your heart.

02
Practice extreme self-love.
How do you do this? Practice radical self-care. Tap into your divine feminine essence. Get to know and love yourself. Love up on yourself inside out, in mind, body and spirit. Take care of your exterior self with massages, baths, experimental makeovers and mani-pedis but also take care of your interior self. You do this by healthy eating, meditation, and getting support when you need it.

03
Get a life.
Want to meet someone great? You need to actually leave your living room. If you want love, make yourself available for it. Create an amazing life where your partner is the icing. We already know that you are loveable – now be datable. Get up and get out. Go to alumnae and industry functions. Create new adventures. Get to know people for the sake of it. And of course, flirt up a storm!

04
Try multi-dating.
Just met someone and he may be the one? Great – don’t lock yourself in so quickly. We want everyone to be the one, but give it a chance. Dating means gathering data to see whether you are compatible. Date a few different people so that you can decide who is best for you. It bears pointing out that dating is not the same thing as having sex!

05
Be positive.
Positive energy is confident, sexy, and attractive energy. Ignore statistics. Stop watching or reading reports about “the sad plight of single black women.” Also, the pervasive, “I don’t need anybody” mentality is not the answer either. You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are.

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06
Let friends and family know that you are looking.
There’s no need to play coy. If you are on the market, say that you are on the market. You never know whose brother’s cousin’s banker may be perfect for you!

07
Try online, social media and app dating.
Of course, do your due diligence by doing adequate research. Make sure that you are in the arena for long term relationships rather than hookups. Get a great profile shot, tell your story honestly in a fun, flirty light — and get out there. Relationships that begin online are becoming the norm, not the exception. Open yourself up to the possibilities. Do follow the same safety parameters you would if you met someone offline.

08
Try dating activity groups.
Open up your dating choices and possibilities. Many of the dating sites such as Match.com and OK Cupid hold offline events for singles. Try speed dating and other activities. At best, you’ll meet some great guys. At worst, you’ll have a great story and get to practice your flirting techniques. It is all win-win.

09
Join Meetup.com
Whatever you’re into, there is a Meet up group for it. Most likely, the people you would be most compatible with will like the same things you like. If you’re looking for other vegans, folks who like game nights, or coffee aficionados, there is a Meet up with folks you will enjoy meeting.

10
Have a blend of single and coupled friends.
Your single friends may be bitching and complaining about how much men suck. Your married friends may be feeling bad for your eternal single status. Instead of staying stuck in either energy, have a blend of good people around you. Bask in the beautiful love of your happily married compadres. Share in their positive and healing life lessons. And enjoy your single girlfriends and the journey toward love that you are on together. Most of all, make your friendships a negativity-free zone.

11
Better yourself.
Up your fitness and wellness game. Work on any communication issues you may have. Travel if you’ve never left your state. Get that therapy you’ve always needed. Put your financial situation in order. Like attracts like. This will allow you to attract a higher quality of person, but most importantly, you will become a better person.